Her Eyes Met Mine, and I've Never Seen Such Windows Into Heaven

Have you ever had the opportunity to sit and look into a newborn baby's eyes?

I've had a lot on my mind lately and came home from a long commute of thinking about all the things that I had been avoiding the whole day in order to keep it together at work. I was expecting to go to a ward activity with a good friend of mine and instead I walked into a home with two rambunctious toddlers, a decently content newborn, and one very sick Sister-in-law. Sara sat down to take her temperature and it was a whopping 102, which for a nursing mom is never good...never really good for anyone. She sat up awhile, I got a pizza for dinner, and then I took the baby and sent her to bed.

After wrangling the older two and having scriptures and prayers and getting ready for bed and singing songs and getting cups...I was sitting quietly rocking the newborn, Kaylee, and enjoying the most peace that I had in weeks. She was hungry, I gave her a bottle, she finished it off and as I pulled it away her eyes met mine. Usually newborns' eyes don't really have a lot to say. They just aren't that expressive at two weeks old. But, tonight it was different. Her eyes met mine and I've never seen such windows to Heaven before. It was as if I could see the excitement, the love, the happiness, the joy and any other emotion you could possibly think of being there, and it all came from that tiny baby's eyes.

I sat there with her staring at me, me staring back at her, for a few minutes. I felt more love from that little Kaylee girl than I have from anyone or anywhere for a long while.

The words of Amazing Grace come to mind when I think of how I might express the feelings which flooded over me in those few moments. "I once was lost, but now am found. Was blind, but now I see".

There is a Heaven. In that Heaven there is a Father and His Son. They love us more than we will ever comprehend. They are perfect, in Them we can become such,and only in Them. It is our choice to turn towards or away from them. Sometimes that choice as simple as it always is, seems as if it may be the hardest decision we will ever have to face. All I know is that life is hard no matter what we choose. If we choose to do it with Him, sometimes we get fleeting moments where we are on top of the world and we realize that although it is hard, it is right. If we choose to turn away we fall. This fall is always easy, always long, and always hurts in the end no matter the thrill that comes on the way down.