There are thoughts rambling on in my head. I know I shouldn't stay up late at night. This is what always happens. As soon as something goes wrong, not even wrong, just unexpected in life... my body goes into defense mode. I can't sleep, I can't concentrate on homework. It's an endless cycle of self deprivication. I sometimes wonder what person I could be if this wasn't the case. What if I was one of those women that just gracefully takes all hardships that are thrown in life? Who could I become then?
I was pondering this principle of whom I could become, it turned into an interesting conversation with myself in my head. I realized that God knows who I am. He is about the only one right now. I sure as sam hill don't know who I am. I try to figure it out, and as soon as I begin to think that I know, it all falls apart and shatters on the floor at my feet. Sure, there are the normal answers. I am a daughter of a loving Heavenly Father, I know that. I have potential to become someone great. I have a wonderful family who loves me. I go to an amazing private university where I gain more knowledge and wisdom than I could anywhere else in this entire world. I sound pretty selfish when I say I wish that there was more to me. When I complain about not knowing who I am. It turns out that I know who I am much more than most my age. The only thing is that I live among the "elite" in that sense. I am in the middle of a couple thousand people who know exactly who they are and never question it. At least that is the way it seems.