Running, it's all about getting caught.

I have been pondering lately on different aspects of life. I guess the more appropriate way of putting it would be different phases in life. I had the opportunity to go down to Utah to visit some of my family and was "reunited" with a good friend of mine. I also ran into an ex-boyfriend's little sister. Yup, it was all in one weekend. This all got me thinking. Here I am roughly a quarter of the way done with my life. What have a learned? What experiences have I taken? Which ones did I pass up? I sit there watching my one year old niece running around the apartment. She has her arms hanging limp at her sides, shaking her shoulders back and forth make them flop all around her, as her little feet move as fast as they can. Her dad is chasing her, her legs never quite move as fast as they can to get away from him, but she keeps trying. Then I watch my nephew, he is three. He has fine tuned his motor skills a bit more and has a good chance of getting to a place he knows he'll be safe, but he still can't out run his father. The interesting thing is that he has learned that he can hide, something his sister is yet to find out. Every time one of them was caught the other would start to run, their dad would release the caught one and go after the running one. It's kind of an interesting analogy of life. No matter how old we are, how much skill we have, we are all a child to someone. We are all still developing and trying our hardest to run faster than the person behind us. Yet, what are we all running for? In the end aren't we are all caught? I guess the only answer I was able to come up with is the fact that it doesn't matter what the end is, it is how hard we try. Great application to the atonement right there. I will add to that, how much we learned matters too. We kind of get all the chances that are possible too. As soon as we are caught, we are let loose to learn more, and to put into application what we learned that time. It's the only way to progress. That's really all we are here for anyways, progression. Just a thought that went through my head this weekend, that's all.

There are thoughts rambling on in my head. I know I shouldn't stay up late at night. This is what always happens. As soon as something goes wrong, not even wrong, just unexpected in life... my body goes into defense mode. I can't sleep, I can't concentrate on homework. It's an endless cycle of self deprivication. I sometimes wonder what person I could be if this wasn't the case. What if I was one of those women that just gracefully takes all hardships that are thrown in life? Who could I become then?
I was pondering this principle of whom I could become, it turned into an interesting conversation with myself in my head. I realized that God knows who I am. He is about the only one right now. I sure as sam hill don't know who I am. I try to figure it out, and as soon as I begin to think that I know, it all falls apart and shatters on the floor at my feet. Sure, there are the normal answers. I am a daughter of a loving Heavenly Father, I know that. I have potential to become someone great. I have a wonderful family who loves me. I go to an amazing private university where I gain more knowledge and wisdom than I could anywhere else in this entire world. I sound pretty selfish when I say I wish that there was more to me. When I complain about not knowing who I am. It turns out that I know who I am much more than most my age. The only thing is that I live among the "elite" in that sense. I am in the middle of a couple thousand people who know exactly who they are and never question it. At least that is the way it seems.